Conflict is probably one of the most difficult aspects of leadership, testing our ability to lead through relationships and the emotions that they involve. Our focus should always be on the development of the person, helping them grow while we affirm our love and concern for them even when we disagree completely.
Below is a devotional on this topic - meditate on it and let God grow in you the passion to speak the truth in love...
Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe. — Proverbs 29:25
Nathan loved David, the king of Israel.
The
proof of this love was in Nathan’s allegiance to the monarch and his
sincere attempts to encourage the king, even to the point of affirming
his ideas of a grand temple when God had not blessed the venture.
But
the acid test of the prophet’s affection was not in supportive or
affirming words, but in truthful confrontation—the kind of confrontation
that could cost the prophet his friendship with the king, not to
mention his life.
Nathan
was clever and creative. His involvement in the selection of worship
music in the sanctuary (2 Chronicles 29:25) tells us of his sensitivity.
His personal involvement in the naming of the baby Solomon hints to us
of Nathan’s tenderness (2 Samuel 12:25).
But
Nathan had been given a terrifying assignment fit for the bravest
warrior. And, if the nature of the commission wasn’t tough enough, it
had come as a directive of the living God.
Friendships
are often put to the test over long hours of work or waiting. Friends
pay a price by listening or issuing words of love and encouragement. But
friendship knows no bravery like the bravery of brutal, truthful
confrontation.
Those
who have named this clash of emotions “tough love” have named it well.
It is tough, but it is also the deepest form of love.
Although
it was not Nathan’s only challenge during David’s reign, the
confrontation following the king’s adulterous affair with Bathsheba and
murderous attempt to cover it up was his most grueling.
But
instead of going nose to nose with David—a strategy that could have
gotten Nathan in serious trouble—the prophet told a story. Drawing out
the compassionate shepherd in the king, Nathan told him a story of a
poor man’s family, their only possession a ewe. Much more than simply an
animal on the man’s farm, this lamb was in every way a household pet.
It “shared the man’s food, drank from his cup, and even slept in his
arms.” The lamb was “like a daughter to the man.”
Nathan must have known, as he watched the king’s face, that David was captivated by the tale.
“In
the same town was a rich man,” Nathan continued. “Now a traveler came
to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own
sheep or cattle to prepare a meal. . . . Instead, he took the ewe lamb
that belonged to the poor man and prepared it.”
David was blind with rage. “The man who did this deserves to die!”
Nathan
must have taken a deep breath, knowing he had the king exactly where
God wanted him to be. “You are the man,” Nathan said in measured tones.
“You are the man.”
The
great challenge in truth telling, even with a close friend, is to keep
the focus on the deed and the guilty party, not on the confronter’s need
to be right. In this, Nathan was brilliant. In Nathan’s message, David
clearly heard God’s voice. Years later David would write: “Against You
[the LORD], You only, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight”
(Psalm 51:4).
Nathan
dared to prove his love for his friend by telling him the truth in
loving confrontation. And so skillful was the prophet at dealing with
the king that when the third child was born to David and Bathsheba, they
named him Nathan after the man who risked it all.
Lord,
my sin is always before me. There’s no hiding from it, no denying it. I
know that you desire truth in my inmost heart. Therefore, I ask you to
show me the truth about myself in light of the truth about your love.
Cleanse me, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than
snow.
