Reflecting on who God has made me

Reflecting on Session 1, The Portrait of a Leader...

We have looked together at the call of God on our lives to lead and how to define leadership. Now we can begin to think about leadership as a growth process, understanding where we are so that we can allow God to continue to shape us into the person and leader He wants us to be.

There is an incredible story of a young Pakistani girl who is also on this journey. Malala Yousafzai, the advocate for education and peace, won the Nobel Peace Prize last month, nearly two years after being shot, a target of the Pakistani Taliban. Malala was jointly awarded the prize with Indian activist Kailash Satyarthi “for their struggle against suppression of children and young people and for the right of all children to education.” - See more at: http://growingleaders.com/blog/

It's time to reflect on who God has made me; these are the areas I have had little or no control over (we can call this stage "Providential Beginnings")...

1. How is God’s providence evident in my personal history?
2. How has this made me different and special from those around me?
3. What might this point to in regard to my potential and purpose?

Then we can reflect on the next 2 stages: Character Formation, Service and Application... Remember that character can be defined as "who I am when no one is watching". God is working on us from the inside to develop the character outlined in the Fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). Service to Him and others can only really begin to be effective when we have allowed God to shape our character.

1. Where in my life have I focused on doing (serving/working) before being who God wants me to be?
2. What negative patterns have resulted from that?
3. How can I reverse those patterns and allow God to shape WHO I AM (my character)?
4. What is God’s view of maturity? What character qualities are still immature in my life?
5. Am I willing to go that far?
6. Which of these stages am I in?
7. What is hindering my growth right now?
8. What do I have to do to get to the next step?

These questions are quite personal but maybe there are some ideas that could be shared with others here. Think about some general concepts that you learned from our discussion but be sure to take time to really answer these questions for yourself. 

Defining leadership

What is a leader? There are many definitions of leadership from many perspectives. I have always thought of leadership as 'Influence', which is central to the definition but maybe not enough. Of course influence can be positive influence or negative influence. So we must remember that effectiveness as a leader depends both on the character of the leader and how they interact with others. For most leaders, their effectiveness as a leader must be developed over the course of many years - there are very few 'natural leaders'. Though we may not be good leaders today or have much influence, God is calling each of us to be leaders who represent God's standards and accomplish His purposes in our families, schools, churches, communities and even in business or political settings.

In order to become a leader, you must develop in three areas:

1. Character - who am I?
2. Skills - what do I do and how do I work with others?
3. Vision - how do I know what God wants from me and from those whom I lead?

This is a process that we will discuss over the next months.

Before our first class, please take time to read and think through these things:

1. Read this article on "What is Leadership?". What do you think about this definition? What do you agree with or not agree with? Then identify 2 great leaders and think about how they have influenced your life.

2. Think about how God is shaping you in these areas (we will discuss together):

• Your scope of social influence
• Your ability to maximize the potential of others
• Your ability to clearly define and move toward a goal

Speaking the Truth in Love

Conflict is probably one of the most difficult aspects of leadership, testing our ability to lead through relationships and the emotions that they involve. Our focus should always be on the development of the person, helping them grow while we affirm our love and concern for them even when we disagree completely. 

Below is a devotional on this topic - meditate on it and let God grow in you the passion to speak the truth in love...

Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe. — Proverbs 29:25

Nathan loved David, the king of Israel.

The proof of this love was in Nathan’s allegiance to the monarch and his sincere attempts to encourage the king, even to the point of affirming his ideas of a grand temple when God had not blessed the venture.

But the acid test of the prophet’s affection was not in supportive or affirming words, but in truthful confrontation—the kind of confrontation that could cost the prophet his friendship with the king, not to mention his life.

Nathan was clever and creative. His involvement in the selection of worship music in the sanctuary (2 Chronicles 29:25) tells us of his sensitivity. His personal involvement in the naming of the baby Solomon hints to us of Nathan’s tenderness (2 Samuel 12:25).

But Nathan had been given a terrifying assignment fit for the bravest warrior. And, if the nature of the commission wasn’t tough enough, it had come as a directive of the living God.

Friendships are often put to the test over long hours of work or waiting. Friends pay a price by listening or issuing words of love and encouragement. But friendship knows no bravery like the bravery of brutal, truthful confrontation.

Those who have named this clash of emotions “tough love” have named it well. It is tough, but it is also the deepest form of love.

Although it was not Nathan’s only challenge during David’s reign, the confrontation following the king’s adulterous affair with Bathsheba and murderous attempt to cover it up was his most grueling.

But instead of going nose to nose with David—a strategy that could have gotten Nathan in serious trouble—the prophet told a story. Drawing out the compassionate shepherd in the king, Nathan told him a story of a poor man’s family, their only possession a ewe. Much more than simply an animal on the man’s farm, this lamb was in every way a household pet. It “shared the man’s food, drank from his cup, and even slept in his arms.” The lamb was “like a daughter to the man.”

Nathan must have known, as he watched the king’s face, that David was captivated by the tale.

“In the same town was a rich man,” Nathan continued. “Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal. . . . Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it.”

David was blind with rage. “The man who did this deserves to die!”

Nathan must have taken a deep breath, knowing he had the king exactly where God wanted him to be. “You are the man,” Nathan said in measured tones. “You are the man.”

The great challenge in truth telling, even with a close friend, is to keep the focus on the deed and the guilty party, not on the confronter’s need to be right. In this, Nathan was brilliant. In Nathan’s message, David clearly heard God’s voice. Years later David would write: “Against You [the LORD], You only, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight” (Psalm 51:4).

Nathan dared to prove his love for his friend by telling him the truth in loving confrontation. And so skillful was the prophet at dealing with the king that when the third child was born to David and Bathsheba, they named him Nathan after the man who risked it all.

Lord, my sin is always before me. There’s no hiding from it, no denying it. I know that you desire truth in my inmost heart. Therefore, I ask you to show me the truth about myself in light of the truth about your love. Cleanse me, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

I Disagree!

It happens to all of us eventually: someone doesn't like what I did or said, someone has a difficult personality or someone just wants to go a different direction than I am. There are many causes of conflict and we are often surprised and hurt by these unexpected disruptions and the breaks in relationships that they produce.

Think about conflicts that you have faced already in your life? What was the real issue? Did you understand it at first or did it only come out later? Was there resolution and forgiveness? Who initiated the resolution?

We have all dealt with conflict because it is such a natural occurrence in daily interaction, in class, at work, in the family and even with best friends. But the real question is what do we do with it? It is not something we can avoid, so we need to know how to work through it, how to grow from it and how to strengthen our relationships through it. Remember that conflict itself is not negative or positive but how we deal with it can be destructive or constructive. Conflict is neutral.

So we need to develop the skills to work through conflict because we know it is going to happen. First, we need to get to the source of the problem. This is sometimes a difficult task because we don't understand all the variables of the situation or the people involved. Second, we need to focus on the value of the person. Remember that our relationship is always more important than proving that I'm right. Third, we need to balance grace and truth. There is always the right way, the gracious way to say things even when there are difficult things to say. One thing that I have found is that most people these days struggle with insecurity and identity issues. These issues always lead to conflict because of defensiveness -- no one wants to feel like others know more or know better because we each want to feel valued and in control of our own lives. So when I initiate the affirmation of the other person, letting them feel valued, I cut off their tendency toward self-defense. I must let them know immediately that they are important and that their contribution is also important. This goes a long way in establishing an environment where we can deal with other issues and reach an agreement. This is GOOD leadership, leadership that expects conflict to come and works to grow their team and each relationship through constructive conflict resolution.

Here is the link to the PPT on Conflict Resolution: https://docs.google.com/presentation/.../edit?usp=sharing

I look forward to hearing how God will use you to bless and serve others. Please feel free to comment on these posts or send me a personal message @journeyofjoy.

Teamwork is beautiful!

Though many of us think of leadership with a "do it yourself" or a "lone ranger" perspective, this approach is not biblical or even practical. The New Testament is very clear regarding the Body of Christ, each part/person serving in coordination and cooperation with the rest to minister to the needs of each other and to the world around us. Paul traveled with a team of coworkers, Silas, Timothy, Barnabas, Luke and others. Moses developed a team of leaders from each tribe and worked closely with Aaron and later Joshua. Jesus called 12 men to spend every day with Him in ministry for nearly 3 years. God has created us to work in relationship and this means teams working together to accomplish the vision, much more than we could ever hope to do on our own.

What is a good team? There are many ways to describe a good team but probably 3 things are needed most. DIVERSITY is essential because it brings many skills, interests and talents to the team. If someone else on my team has different skills than I do, their contribution doubles our effectiveness! Now we are each able to focus on the areas that we are good at and let the other person cover for our weaknesses. ORGANIZATION involves clear communication and coaching from those who understand both the people on the team and the steps that must be taken to achieve the goal. These people are commonly called team leaders or coaches because they encourage others to work together and to do their best but they also create community and relationships between the members of the team. The other element is evaluation, which lets people know what needs to be done in what order. The GOAL is the one clear purpose, the end result that everyone is working toward. Without a clear goal there is no clear vision for the team and this only creates confusion and dissension about what we are doing and why we are doing it. This goal is set by the leader but must have the support of the whole group for a real team to exist.

There are several beautiful pictures of teamwork in the Bible, but my favorite is the group who took their paralyzed friend to Jesus. They broke through the roof of the house where Jesus was speaking to a crowd of people and lowered the bed of their friend right into the middle of the room. Can you imagine the determination of these men and their communication through this process? "Well, how do we get in?" "I have an idea!" Really, what is it?" "Listen, first we..." Nothing could stand in their way because they knew what had to be done and worked together to make it happen - getting their friend to Jesus. This should be our attitude as well - nothing is going to stand in the way of getting our friend to Jesus! But it will always take a team of people working together to accomplish big things!

How well do you work with others? Are you able to clearly communicate the goal? Are you supportive of others with very different ideas and skills than yours? Are you able to build strong relationships through the process of learning to work together? If not, then begin to practice these skills and take time to observe carefully how others work in teams.

Communication

As God grows the vision for ministry in us, it is our job to communicate that vision to those who will join us in completing this vision...

Technology has made communication easier and more frequent than ever before, picking up your cell phone, sending an e-mail, an SMS and instant messaging - but we are not really communicating better than before. How can we really engage people and call them to action when there is so much empty communication distracting them from what is important?

Stories may be one key to this problem. If you know what types of stories connect best with your audience, you can use stories to immediately connect yourself to their world, interest them in what you have to say and motivate them to take action. Of course you need to prepare well for this by listening to and reading lots of stories; you can find stories everywhere, in books, in movies, on the news, in everyday events and in conversations. Find several stories that will lead well to the message you have to share. Practice telling stories in many different settings, in writing, with family, with friends. Then you need to learn about the person or people who will be hearing your story. If you know them well, this is easy, but if not you may need to ask some questions first: What do you enjoy doing in your free time? What do you consider to be the ultimate goal in life? If you had a week to go and do anything, what would it be? These types of questions will give you clues about what is most valuable to them. Then you can pick the story that connects best to their values. If you don't have the opportunity, the best stories are usually stories about you and your personal experiences because these are the stories we can tell with the most passion and 'real-ness'.

Developing our communication skills is a constant task and needs to be addressed in every area, what we write, how we listen, how we speak, and even in how we stand or sit or dress or move our eyes and hands. All of this communicates value to the person I am talking with, confidence in my message and confidence in myself as the messenger. But the most important piece is connecting to our audience: What exactly will they see and hear? Will they hear a clear and unified message? Will they be able to connect their values and goals with this message? Will they be motivated to take action as a result?

Follow-up: What stories have you heard that powerfully communicate a vision for ministry? What stories most describe you, your life and your passions? Which of these stories can be used this week as you talk to people? How can you improve your ability to tell stories this week?

Here are a few links for you: 

• http://growingleaders.com/blog/how-to-communicate-your-vision/
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXaqJe520gg&feature=youtu.be (personal evangelism)
• https://www.ted.com/playlists/62/how_to_tell_a_story (look at "The danger of a single story")
• http://www.mislinks.org/communicating/storying/

Extra: I am not satisfied with my class session on the topic of communication, so I will not be posting the recording from session 6... but here is the link to the presentation: Communication.ppt

Communication and Leadership

We have been working toward an understanding of what a vision is and how that is developed in us for leadership. We also looked at the concept of priorities and realizing that we must focus on the things that are most important for us to do as the leader or the vision will never be realized. Now we need to look at aspects of team development: communicating the vision, working with people and managing conflict.

When we improve our ability to communicate, we increase our ability to lead.

So how do we communicate this vision to others? As leaders we are responsible to unite a team of people to carry out the vision. Thankfully, God brings the right people into our lives at the right time to make this happen, which tests our trust in Him as well as our determination to obey no matter what. Our connection to this team will depend on our ability to communicate: learning to listen, learning to value their input, learning to shape our vision into words and word pictures, and learning to persuade and motivate. The leader really acts as a model, organizer, cheerleader and coach to understand how each member of the team works, use their skills and knowledge effectively and challenge them to do more than they thought they could do!

Remember that communication happens at many levels, one-to-one, small groups, large audiences, in writing, in speaking, with words, with attitudes, with tone of voice, with body language... each one is essential for the complete message and effective leadership! If you do not feel ready to speak in front of a group, don't worry. This takes time and practice; but you can still work on your communication skills in many other ways!

We will look at this more in our next session and then you can begin an assignment:
Prepare a 5 minute presentation which presents a vision for ministry in a way that will challenge and motivate your audience or small group to join you. This presentation should engage the mind as well and the emotions of your audience so they can see what you see and feel what you feel regarding the task ahead.

Priorities of a Leader

We have been thinking about vision - seeing into the future and what God might be calling us to do. This develops out of the passions that God puts in our heart, the circumstances in which we live and the people God brings into our life. Of course this vision must be communicated to a team of people who will join us in fulfilling the vision. But often one of the most difficult tasks for the leader is choosing which tasks to focus on and how to organize their time, resources and energy so that they can be effective leaders. This is a process we call 'setting priorities'.

So how do great leaders set priorities?

The “Pareto Principle” teaches us that if we focus our attention on our most important activities we gain the highest return on our effort. In fact, Mr. Pareto found that if we tend to the top 20% most important priorities, we will accomplish 80% of the results we are after. Some call this the 80/20 Rule. This principle can be applied to your everyday priorities to enable you to lead more effectively. If you were to list your top 10 priorities, you would likely find that getting done your first and second priorities will give you 80% of your desired results. This occurs because many of the lower priorities are minor tasks that need to be completed (sometimes urgently), but are not extremely important. These are not the priorities that you should focus on. To be a more efficient and effective leader,  you must embrace the right priorities, the crucial things that only you can do.

Which tasks do you focus on first? The ones that are easiest, the most urgent, the ones that will take longest, the ones that need the least amount of your energy, or the ones that are most important? Whenever we allow ourselves to be guided by the urgent, we give up our priorities as leaders. Good leaders know that if the most important things don't get most of our attention, very little of real importance will be accomplished.

Here are a few simple application questions and ideas... 

1. What was Jesus' top priority? How can this be shown in how He talked or how He used His time?
2. How many things do you put on your calendar each week that are independent of others and their demands on your time? 
3. What are the 2 most important items on your calendar this week that will bring you closer to understanding and fulfilling your God-given vision?
4. If you have 6 things to do today, think about which item is the most important and how much time that should take of all the time you have available - then do it first!

Here is the ppt for this session. 

Your own purpose statement

What are you really good at? What things give you a deep sense of satisfaction? What skills have developed into personal strengths over the last couple years? These are gifts that God has given you and they are His way of blessing you so that you can invest in others. This is one way of approaching the question, "What is my purpose in life?"

We might be tempted to ask, "How can God use me?" or "Am I really important?" But we need to realize that each person does have a unique purpose, it just takes work to realize what that is and how to act on it. Another way of approaching these questions is to spend time developing a personal purpose statement and letting that statement guide your objectives and goals in everyday life.

In our last on-line class I shared with you the purpose statement that Ellie and I have developed. (You can listen in on that presentation using the link in the last post.) But I will give you a practical way of developing your own statement:

1. Name 2 people who have impacted you the most. What 2 qualities made them special? 
2. If you accomplished only 2 things in your life, what would they be? 
3. There are only 2 rules in life that everyone must follow. They are… 
4. Everyone has unalienable rights which are, “life, liberty, and the pursuit of _______”. 

After completing these statements, it should heavily impact how you answer the next set of questions:

1. Which of these statements identifies the things you would be willing to be uncomfortable for? 
2. Which of these statements identifies the things you would get in a fight about? 
3. Which of these identifies the things you would be willing to be ridiculed for? 
4. Which would you be willing to die for? 

You have now arrived at a clear understanding of what is of most value to you! If you are even willing to die for something, this is of the highest value and cannot be separated from who you are as a person. Now we can work these values into a personal purpose statement...

1. I will live as an example of ...
2. I will refuse to let my comfort distract me from ...
3. I will take every opportunity to ...

Now, rewrite your purpose statement using these actions. Then evaluate how you spend your time and determine to let your purpose statement guide your daily activities and decisions

1. What are your daily activities? List them by the amount of time each one takes.
2. Your top 2 priorities (goals that come from your purpose statement) should be the focus of 80% of your available time. (Remember the 80/20 priciple that we discussed!)
3. Write those on your hand, on the mirror or somewhere very visible to review every day. 
4. Evaluate how much time you put into those this next week. 

There is a website which might be of further use to you. It is not a Christian website, but the concepts are quite helpful and may be able to guide you in the process of developing a personal purpose statement:  www.franklincovey.com/missionbuilder/

One more thought: In Genesis 37, when Joseph was seventeen, he had a dream prophesying that he would someday rule over his brothers. This peek into his destiny filled him with self-confidence; he was a young man who was destined to impact his world and be used by God. But the fact is, he wasn’t ready to rule over his brothers or anyone else right then. He needed to go through some character-shaping times. And indeed, he did just that, spending thirteen years facing setbacks, challenges, and even prison. So remember that the vision God gives you is not something that will happen immediately. God continues to shape us and prepare us for the special work He wants to accomplish in His time.

My vision or God's?

We have been working toward an understanding of what a vision is and how that is developed in us for leadership. A God given vision is one that addresses this needs of those around us and attempts to meet those needs in a biblical method. We can define a vision as "a clear mental image of a preferable future imparted by God to His chosen servants. It is based on the belief that it not only could be done but should be done."
The development of a vision can be compared to the process of giving birth: conception, gestation, labor and the birth event when the vision takes on a unique and independent form. We looked at the life of Nehemiah together.

Here is a chart to help us understand the differences between a God-given vision and a man-made one:

Man-made Vision	God-given Vision
You create it based on your gifts and skills.	You receive it as a revelation from God.
Its fulfillment rests on staying ahead of others.	Its fulfillment rests on the person's obedience.
Other similar groups or people are seen as competitors.	Other similar groups or people are seen as complimentary.
Its goal is to build your organization and create personal benefits.	Its goal is to serve people, advance God's kingdom, and honor God.
Stress may emerge inwardly and outwardly.	It is accompanied by inward peace and outward opposition.
It may be dropped for something better.	It is compelling and captivating until fulfilled.

The vision is incredibly important because it identifies the task that God wants us to work toward as leaders. Its development is really parallel to our personal development as leaders - He makes us into the people He wants us to be through the process of enabling us to carry out the vision He has given us. This is a beautiful and wonderful truth. (The ppt presentation is here.)

Our next step is working toward creating our own personal vision statement... but more about that in my next post.

Intimacy leads us toward a vision for ministry

Hopefully you have now had time to think through and also to practice the concept of Intimacy with God. This is the foundation for your present and future role as a Christian leader. When this is not in place people, families, churches and ministries fall apart because: the leader is not focused on the person of Christ, they are no longer dependent on Him but on their own experience and skills, they are not concerned about giving God the glory or praise, they lose touch with their spiritual transformation and calling, and they finally give in to pressures and even temptations.

When we commit to a life of intimacy, first with God, then with others, He begins to open our eyes to the real needs of people around us and His answer to those issues. This is when God begins to give us His vision for ministry and it is always bigger than we can handle. That is why He is gracious and does not give it to us all at once - we would never be able to understand or manage it if we knew it up front!

Let us take time to listen and explore these next days to what God is saying. As you spend time with Him, let Him change your perspective on those around you. I'm sure there are people in your life who you do not like or you can not understand. Pray and ask Him to show you who they really are and why they are a certain way. Pray that He will give you a heart of love and concern for others and their needs. Pray that God will make you a person who can demonstrate His love to those specific people. As you become sensitive to His leading and to the needs of others, He will begin to grow a vision in your heart for real and effective ministry.

Time for a Test

We have now taken a brief look at the meaning of Christian leadership, the stages of leadership development and the character qualities needed for a truly effective leader. Now we can take a look at where you are in the process of really becoming a leader. I'm including a series of 10 'test' questions to help you evaluate yourself. This is a difficult test so please leave at least 20 minutes to think through your answers and write a short evaluation paragraph at the end. I pray that it will be useful for you as God continues shaping your life and making you the real leader that He wants you to be!

We are preparing for class #3 "Intimacy with God". So please take the test before our next class which will be in Janary. Here is the link: leadership test

Prep for class 3: Read and meditate on this passage: Ephesians 3:16-19 and be ready to share what spiritual Truth this reveals. We will also look at what intimacy with God really is and how it impacts our image of Him and of how we can really serve Him.

(source: "Portrait of a Leader", bk 1, pp 93-106)

Essential Qualities of a Leader

There are four essential qualities of a leader: Character, Perspective, Courage and Favor. We see clearly that many leaders lack at least one of these qualities, which really impacts their effectiveness. Even in the Bible one of these qualities was missing in most cases. You might be able to pick out which quality was lacking in the life of Peter or Pilate or Joshua or Samson.

But there are certain things we can do to allow God to build those qualities in us. You can see the PowerPoint presentation on this topic which outlines some suggestions for development here: https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1pkKYw5w7kHcJeOF7hlvgk1CkVz0lK45vAAFl_l55ZNU/edit?usp=sharing
Here are some more suggestions...

Help them take calculated risks. Talk it over with them, but let them do it. Your primary job is to prepare your child for how the world really works.

Discuss how they must learn to make choices. They must prepare to both win and lose, not get all they want and to face the consequences of their decisions.

Share your own “risky” experiences from your teen years. Interpret them. Because we’re not the only influence on these kids, we must be the best influence.

Instead of tangible rewards, how about spending some time together? Be careful you aren’t teaching them that emotions can be healed by a trip to the mall.

Choose a positive risk taking option and launch kids into it (i.e. sports, jobs, etc). It may take a push but get them used to trying out new opportunities.

Don’t let your guilt get in the way of leading well. Your job is not to make yourself feel good by giving kids what makes them or you feel better when you give it.

Don’t reward basics that life requires. If your relationship is based on material rewards, kids will experience neither intrinsic motivation nor unconditional love.

Affirm smart risk-taking and hard work wisely. Help them see the advantage of both of these, and that stepping out a comfort zone usually pays off.

- See more at: http://growingleaders.com/blog/3-mistakes-we-make-leading-kids/#sthash.Skbeuoge.dpuf

Help them take calculated risks. Talk it over with them, but let them do it. Your primary job is to prepare your child for how the world really works.

Discuss how they must learn to make choices. They must prepare to both win and lose, not get all they want and to face the consequences of their decisions.

Share your own “risky” experiences from your teen years. Interpret them. Because we’re not the only influence on these kids, we must be the best influence.

Instead of tangible rewards, how about spending some time together? Be careful you aren’t teaching them that emotions can be healed by a trip to the mall.

Choose a positive risk taking option and launch kids into it (i.e. sports, jobs, etc). It may take a push but get them used to trying out new opportunities.

Don’t let your guilt get in the way of leading well. Your job is not to make yourself feel good by giving kids what makes them or you feel better when you give it.

Don’t reward basics that life requires. If your relationship is based on material rewards, kids will experience neither intrinsic motivation nor unconditional love.

Affirm smart risk-taking and hard work wisely. Help them see the advantage of both of these, and that stepping out a comfort zone usually pays off.

- See more at: http://growingleaders.com/blog/3-mistakes-we-make-leading-kids/#sthash.Skbeuoge.dpuf

Help them take calculated risks. Talk it over with them, but let them do it. Your primary job is to prepare your child for how the world really works.

Discuss how they must learn to make choices. They must prepare to both win and lose, not get all they want and to face the consequences of their decisions.

Share your own “risky” experiences from your teen years. Interpret them. Because we’re not the only influence on these kids, we must be the best influence.

Instead of tangible rewards, how about spending some time together? Be careful you aren’t teaching them that emotions can be healed by a trip to the mall.

Choose a positive risk taking option and launch kids into it (i.e. sports, jobs, etc). It may take a push but get them used to trying out new opportunities.

Don’t let your guilt get in the way of leading well. Your job is not to make yourself feel good by giving kids what makes them or you feel better when you give it.

Don’t reward basics that life requires. If your relationship is based on material rewards, kids will experience neither intrinsic motivation nor unconditional love.

Affirm smart risk-taking and hard work wisely. Help them see the advantage of both of these, and that stepping out a comfort zone usually pays off.

- See more at: http://growingleaders.com/blog/3-mistakes-we-make-leading-kids/#sthash.Skbeuoge.dpuf

1. Take calculated risks - learn to balance the risk with the advantages.
2. Learn to make good choices - and be responsible for the choices you make!
3. Share your positive risk taking experiences with others and learn from them too.
4. Remind yourself that your accomplishments are due to God's grace and your hard work, not because you are any better than anyone else.

Here are useful definitions for each one:
Character enables the leader to do what is right... even when it is difficult.
Perspective enables the leader to see and understand what must happen to reach the goal.
Courage enables the leader to initiate and calculate the risk to step out towards a goal.
Favor enables the leader to attract and empower others to join in the cause.

Review the four primary qualities of effective, healthy leadership. Do you exhibit these qualities in your life and leadership? As a leader. which of the four qualities of healthy, effective leadership are you strongest in? In which are you weakest? How will you grow in your area of weakness? Write down specifically what you will do to enhance the quality that most needs developing in your life.
(Source: Portrait of a Leader, bk 1, pp 17-30)

Why should I answer God's call to lead?

There are many reasons to answer God's call. The first might be very clear to you if you think about the events of world history and then look around at our society today... We are the connection to the next generation of Christians! Every generation is responsible to reach the next generation with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

from: http://teachersjourneytolife.blogspot.com

We know that Christianity has been a huge movement that has impacted billions with the blessings of modern society. Most of the advances in science, medicine, social work, music, education, government and many other areas of study are based on the premise that there is an absolute Truth and an order to our universe because of our Creator God. Even many of the most notable advances in these areas were made by people who understood this premise of Truth and acted out of Christian love. God has made our universe for a purpose and we have the capacity to discover the laws of nature and understand how things work - there is no randomness or purposeless activity in God's Creation. We also see that Christianity focuses on the dignity of human life, whether you are female, from another race, unborn, poor, sick, old or disabled, each person has value and potential for a meaningful and fulfilling life. Of course this has not always been practiced, but it is the reality of Biblical teaching and Jesus teaching, life and death in payment for our sin.
As Christianity spread through Europe, Europe became the center of faith and the base for spreading the Gospel to the rest of the world. America took its turn and now east Asia, even with countries dominated by Communism and religious persecution, is the center of the missionary movement. How can this be? Because the real Truth of the Gospel is a living hope and freedom that brings dignity and purpose to human life. God has shown His love to us in the giving of His Son in our place to restore an eternal relationship with those who previously rejected Him. (See Ephesians 2!)

So even though Europe had been the center of Christianity, it eventually became spiritually dead and did not teach grace or forgiveness but a social conformity to religious rules. So we see the result of that in modern society: knowledge without wisdom, good deeds without love, things without thankfulness, health without happiness, leaders without values, ethics without morality, social programs without sacrifice, relationship without commitment, even religion without Jesus!

But true Christianity does exist and it does not depend on us; it depends on the reality of God and His gift in Jesus Christ! God will use people to be a part of His plan to reach everyone but I must choose to be a part of it. I want to answer His call to live in such a way that others can understand His love and want a restored relationship with Him. We must become students of Christian leadership because there is a world we must lead to the foot of the cross of Jesus.

How God Calls a Leader

Many times we see great leaders and we wonder how they became great. Leaders do not become great leaders overnight. There is a long process and often a calling from God that enables them to become who they are. Let's think for a moment about the concept of "calling".

In the late 1800's, a group of young job seekers congregated in the waiting room of a telegraph hiring agency. Each job prospect who was waiting for an interview was engulfed in reading, chatting and munching... except one young man. Through all the commotion he heard a message tapped out in code, "If you hear this message come through the office door." With ears perked up, the man understood the invitation being offered. So the young man walked through the office door. A few minutes later he returned to the waiting room, grinned and told the other job seekers, "You can all go home, I just got the job."

Like the prophet Isaiah, this young man heard the general call that went out to everyone in the waiting room and responded to it, making it his call. He listened. He understood. He acted. He got results.

God is calling every Christian to stand up and lead. Have you heard His call? What is He calling us to do specifically? We can see many example of God's calling in Scripture: the Apostle Paul, Queen Esther, Jeremiah, Joseph; which type of call did they receive and why was it appropriate for them? How is God's calling appropriate for you in your situation? Please comment below!

Blessings in Disguise

Making the Best Out of a Bad Situation 
(adapted from a devotional by Bryant Wright, from Right from the Heart)
These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world. — John 16:33

A call to follow Christ does not mean that things will get easier for us but we will need to look at things from a new perspective. Of course there are many examples of people who have faced trials but did not give up. 

Reverend Henry (in the late 1600's) was walking to his home in London when he was robbed by two men who attacked him in an alley. After arriving home, he wrote in his diary: 

I thank Thee, first, because I was never robbed before; second, because although they took my belongings, they did not take my life; third, although they took everything I had, it was not much; and fourth, because it was I who was robbed and not I who robbed.

This is a valuable perspective which challenges us to see setbacks and challenges as blessings, not as failures. Another interesting example is Winston Churchill, who inspired England and its allies as he declared, “We shall never surrender!” during England’s darkest days. Yet as World War II ended, his country unceremoniously dumped him as its prime minister. Attempting to comfort him, his wife declared that this rejection might actually be a blessing in disguise. “If it is,” he replied, “then it is certainly very well disguised.”

Despite this humbling rejection, Churchill went on with his life. He won a Pulitzer Prize for his six-volume history of World War II and served another term as prime minister and many years as the elder statesman of the free world.

Jesus warned that “in [this] world, you will have tribulation.” You will face many rejections, roadblocks, and even landmines in your life. Sometimes God allows us to face these challenges to teach, test, or even redirect us. Learn to view these hardships as opportunities to make yourself stronger. You just might discover that Mrs. Churchill was right! It could be a blessing in disguise.

What has happened in your life that you might call "a blessing in disguise"? How can God use what others might call a failure to be a source of blessing for you and others? Answering these questions might be the key to understanding how God can use you for His glory.

At what stage of leadership development am I?

Reflecting on Session 1...

Time to Reflect on Who God has made me; these are the areas I have had little or no control over (Providential Beginnings)...

1. How is God’s providence evident in my personal history?
2. How has this made me different and special?
3. What might this point to in regard to my potential and purpose?

Time to Reflect on the next 2 stages: Character Formation, Service and Application...

1. Where in my life have I focused on doing before being?
2. What negative patterns have resulted from that?
3. How can I reverse those patterns and allow God to shape WHO I AM?
4. What is God’s view of maturity?
5. Am I willing to go that far?
6. What phase am I in?
7. What is hindering my growth right now?
8. What do I have to do to get to the next step?

These questions are quite personal but maybe there are some ideas that could be shared with others here. Think about some general concepts that you learned from our discussion but be sure to take time to really answer these questions for yourself. 

I have updated the link to the session recording (Dec). Click the link, install the web browser plugin (if needed) and you can view the session without downloading to your computer: session1.wrf

What is a Leader?

What is a leader? There are many definitions but really a leader is someone who has influence over others because of their position or their responsibility. This can be positive influence or negative influence. Their effectiveness as a leader depends both on who they are and how the interact with others. For most people, their effectiveness as a leader must be developed over the course of many years - there are very few 'natural leaders'. Though we may not be good leaders today or have much influence, God is calling each of us to be leaders who represent God's standards and accomplish His purposes in our families, schools, churches, communities and even sometimes in very important business or political settings.

In order to become a leader, you must develop in three areas:

1. Character - who am I?
2. Skills - what do I do and how do I work?
3. Vision - how do I know what God wants from me and from those whom I lead?

This is a process that we will discuss over the next months.

Before our first class, please take time to read and think through these things before we meet...

1. Read this article on "What makes a Great Leader". Is this the type of leader you want to be? Or do you want to be something else? What is a great leader? Then identify 2 great leaders and think about how they have influenced your life.

2. Think about how God is shaping you in these areas (we will discuss together):

• Your Personality
• Your Testimony
• Your Teachability
• Your Moral Character
• Your attitude and emotions (how you respond in different situations)

Spiritual Formation

The next 2 stages of leadership development are where most young people find themselves: Character and Spiritual Formation, Service and Application. First we need to understand that BEING the person God wants us to be is much more important the DOING the things that demonstrate quality Christian leadership. If we allow God to shape our character through an intimate relationship with Him, we will eventually become much more effective in our service to Him.
God's objectives here are:

1. Intimacy - How close do I live to God and how much do I really depend on Him?
2. Discernment - What is really important to God and how does that shape my values?
3. Lordship - Is obeying God's Word always first in my decision making process?
4. Security - Do I trust God to accomplish what He wants in me no matter the personal cost?
5. Identity - Am I more concerned about others and their opinion of me or what God says about me?
6. Convictions and disciplines - Based on how I spend my time and money, what are the things I consider most valuable? 

AFTER we develop in each of these areas, God has begun to shape us into a person that He can use. The next stage is called "Service and Application". We are now able to serve because we understand what God values and are able to depend on Him for the perspective, wisdom and strength to do what may otherwise be impossible. Evaluate yourself and talk though your evaluation with a parent, youth leader or mentor. Note the areas you still need to grow in and develop a plan for growth.

(source: "Portrait of a Leader", bk 1, pp 61-78) 

Providential Beginnings

In our first session together, we looked at the first 3 stages of becoming a leader: 1) Providential Beginnings, 2) Character Formation, and 3) Service and Application. The first stage is quite interesting because we have very little control over who invests in our lives during the first 8 - 12 years of life. God places us in situations and families who influence us in tremendous ways. Some of these situations are very difficult and some are not. But what God wants to do, in His providence, is shape us into people that He can use and prepare us for very special tasks, even sometimes giving us a vision for our life that directs our future.
Take a look at the life of Wess Stafford, president of Compassion Ministries: http://www.faithtalks.com/posts/wess-stafford/ His life is a beautiful example of how God shapes a person from early life to prepare them for something great.

Take 20 minutes to think and write on these questions:

1. How is God's providence evident in my personal history?
2. How has this made me different and special?
3. What might this point to in regard to my potential and purpose?

God want to do great things in you and through you. The first step is understanding the things that are out of our control and being thankful for the uniqueness of who you are as a result of those providential circumstances.