Evaluating for a New Year

Welcome to a New Year! 

We'll have to wait one more year for a new decade to begin, even though we have left the "20 teens" now. You can read up on this confusion here.

It always amazes me to look back at the previous year - or even the last 20 or 30 years - and see how different my life is and what seems to take my time, attention and even my money. So as I look back now, in the opening days of 2020, hopefully there are fewer things that I need to realign but there are always more things to learn and to do better. Here are a few questions I'm asking which may also be helpful for you...

1. Which relationships need more attention in the coming year? I have lost regular contact with some of my best lifetime friends in recent years. This is due to a gradual shift in our priorities and just being involved in different things and living in different countries. How can I be more intentional about these relationships while continuing to give attention to those who need me now?

2. How will I continue to grow as a follower of Christ and in effectively living out my calling and ministry? If you haven't set some life goals, then you have a bit of work to do in this area! But it is never too late and there should always be short-term goals that help us move forward in the coming days and months. I also take time to evaluate what books I will read, which email updates, blogs or news feeds get my attention and what professional growth options I have.

3. How will I spend my time and money this year? Of course time and money are not really mine, but I need to learn to use them well - this is called stewardship. The first 2 points play into this heavily, but it is also important to take a more careful look at my daily schedule and budget at the beginning of each year. How does my schedule and budget reflect my priorities? Are there things that must be adjusted? I'm taking care of these things now and setting a pattern for the next 60 days. Then I'll reevaluate, if necessary.

There are a few important things I need to adjust and this continues to challenge me every day. My conversations should always push myself and others into a larger perspective on life, a perspective in light of eternity which highlights biblical values. Our budget needs to be tweaked a little to spend less on ourselves and more on others. I will also spend less time on social media and less time on my phone while increasing face-to-face contact, outdoor activity and exercise. And there is always room for more prayer and focussed study of God's Word which brings clarity to both my heart and my mind and a deeper sensitivity to what God wants to do in me and through me. I want to live each moment for His glory and the blessing of others. Remember that wisdom is not only knowing the right thing to do but also doing it. Let's get started!

Dealing with Conflict

Conflict is a natural part of life, but there are very few people who are really able to handle it well. Does that mean we should not try? Should we avoid conflict to avoid hurting others or getting upset? NO! In fact, just the opposite is true. If conflict is not addressed, the result will be destructive and cause more hurt in the long run. But, there are important things to keep in mind:

1. Determine the root source of the conflict.
2. Deal with the issue, but treat the person with the respect and dignity that they deserve.
3. Practice good communication skills and a biblical approach to conflict resolution.
4. Remember that resolving conflict is a tool for blessing in other's lives and my life that will also honor God and further His Kingdom if we do it well!

There are some interesting tools for conflict resolution on mindtools.com They certainly have elements of truth in them, but some of the best tools for conflict resolution come from Scripture. 

Philippians 2:2-4(NIV) says: 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

This reminds us that selfishness is often the root cause of conflict, although there are many other related causes. Matthew 18 gives us some principles and steps for dealing with conflictive persons or groups. The most important aspect of dealing with conflict, according to Matthew 18, is going to the person involved. Don't talk about that person or the issue with others unless there is no other option! You will only make the situation worse and you have not been faithful in dealing with the source of the conflict!

Do you think about conflicts that you have faced already in your life? What was the real issue? Did you understand it at first or did it only come out later? Was there resolution and forgiveness? Who initiated the resolution? 

Each of us needs to develop the skills to work through conflict because we know it is going to happen. Remember that the relationship is always more important than proving that I'm right. We also need to balance grace and truth. There is always the right way, the gracious way to say things even when there are difficult things to say. One thing that I have found is that most people these days struggle with insecurity and identity issues. These issues always lead to conflict because of defensiveness -- no one wants to feel like others know more or know better because we each want to feel valued and in control of our own lives. So when I initiate the affirmation of the other person, letting them feel valued, I cut off their tendency toward self-defense. I must let them know immediately that they are important and that their contribution is also important. This goes a long way in establishing an environment where we can deal with other issues and reach an agreement. This is GOOD leadership, leadership that expects conflict to come and works to grow their team and each relationship through constructive conflict resolution.

Share your experiences with conflict and how you were able to deal with it.

More effective communication

As we learn to communicate, one of the most important skills is listening. Jesus used a special phrase at the end of His parables, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear." This has several implications:

• First, use the ears and mind that God gave you. A willingness to listen and understand is essential for those who want to learn and those who are interested in Truth. Remember that truth does not come from inside us, it comes from God, who is the source of all truth. If we don't listen and evaluate what we hear, we will certainly be deceived.
• Jesus' parables communicated truth at several levels. So this command to listen was appropriate for every individual in His audience, no matter where they were in life. Some of them were only able to understand the most basic aspects of the message - the earthly reality of the sower, the seed and the types of soil where the seed might grow. Others might have also received an intellectual message regarding how or where to invest their resources. But very few were able to receive the blessing of the spiritual message, the one Jesus later shared clearly with His disciples. This is part of the beauty of His parables because there was something for everyone. It was short, clear and completely true at every level while challenging the listener to respond to the Truth. If we listen well, we should also hear the message at many levels and be able to apply Truth at each level.
• The final aspect of listening is realizing that I am not the only one listening. "Let him hear" implies that I am partially responsible for others. First, I must not be a distraction to others. Second, I must help create an environment for listening and learning. Third, I can reinforce the message to others by my words, actions and attitudes. In other words, I must help others listen well.

We each need to work on thinking and communicating clearly but the first step is learning how to listen! Let's practice listening this week by:

1. not thinking about what I will say while others are talking
2. displaying a posture of listening by looking at others when they talk (and not looking at my phone or...)
3. responding to what others say by my facial expression and other physical cues
4. thinking about what others say at multiple levels
5. asking good follow up questions to help them clarify their ideas and/or my understanding

Let me know how it goes by posting a comment. Were you successful at listening? What were the biggest obstacles for you? What did you learn about others in the process?

Communication tools

What is communication? There are several important aspects including the message, the medium, the context and the filter. But the objective is being able to equate the intended message with the received message. If your audience does not understand what you intended to communicate, then there is a problem!

Leaders must know how to communicate effectively to many types of people and in many settings. I would encourage you, as a current or future leader, to understand what effective communication really means, evaluate your current communication skills and then work to develop those skills every time you have the opportunity. This includes facing your fears of public speaking!

In Matthew 28, Jesus gives His 'great commission': 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

How can we obey His commission without learning how to communicate? Making disciples and teaching must be basic training for every follower of Christ. Remember too that leaders are responsible for communicating the vision, working with people and managing conflict - all of these tasks depend on your ability to communicate effectively!

When we improve our ability to communicate, we increase our ability to lead.

Take a look at this website to begin: http://www.mindtools.com/page8.html The quiz, "How good are your communication skills?" is especially interesting. Then you can begin to put some of these skills into practice!

My time or your time?

Time is an interesting concept that we don't think about except when we are 'out of time'! But the question is really how we view time. Is time something that controls us or something that we control? Is time a commodity, something to be earned or spent or given, or is time a blessing, something to be grateful for in every moment and passed on for the blessing of others? Looking at time this way is realizing that we can never possess time because time is God's gift to us moment by moment.

This is incredibly important for leaders to consider because their view of time will allow them to lead well or always be dealing with the most urgent concerns. Time is also directly connected to our vision, which I hope you have had TIME (ha ha) to begin to develop over these last weeks. Our vision for life and ministry helps us to set priorities on our time and then decide to live by those priorities on a day by day, moment by moment basis.

Here are some related questions for you:

• According to your life mission/vision, what is your top priority?
• How much time each day is directly related to this top priority?
• Do you feel that you make good progress on this priority or does something need to be changed or rearranged in order to reach your goals?
• What can be dropped from your schedule that has no impact on your priorities or your vision?

Be careful to drop the right things because there are some that seem unimportant but actually are very important! Sleep, for example, is one element of our life that allows us to function well in every other area. Without sleep we cannot think, digest food or have energy for the day ahead.

Here is another interesting illustration of how time is viewed differently by different people and cultures: Someone in Africa has noted that "Americans are people that have watches but no time. Africans are people that have time but no watches."

From Intimacy to Vision

A Leadership Vision is clear mental image of a preferable future imparted by God to his chosen servants. It is based on the belief that it not only could be done but should be done.
While every vision will be as unique and varied as each person who is born, there will be common traits that every leader's vision shares. These common qualities are:

• It is unique and personal.
• It is larger than mere ideas or preferences.
• It requires the leader to act as an innovator.
• It is an image that is both conceptual and practical.

Ñ Keep working on intimacy… How is this going?

Ñ Think carefully about what God might be calling you to.

Ñ Begin to work on a personal vision statement – I’ll give you some help for this below.

Working on Intimacy: 

Relationships are difficult to assess because they are fluid and often change. This self-assessment is designed to help give you an idea of how intimate you are with God. Answer the questions below to give yourself a picture of where you are in your relationship with God. The results are not saved but you will see a 'grade' for your self-assessment when you submit the form.
http://acsieurope.org/paul/intimacy.php

Thinking Carefully: 

• Has God revealed any purpose or vision to you, yet? What is he saying to you?
• Do you identify with a problem anywhere? How are you praying for that need? What are you doing about it?

Working on My Vision:

We might be tempted to ask, "How can God use me?" or "Am I really important?" But we need to realize that each person does have a unique purpose, it just takes work to realize what that is and how to act on it. Another way of approaching these questions is to spend time developing a personal purpose statement and letting that statement guide your objectives and goals in everyday life.

You can read more about developing your own vision statement from another post: http://christ-like-leaders.blogspot.hu/2013/03/your-own-purpose-statement.html 

Examples of Intimacy

There are some great examples of people who have developed intimacy with God. Here are 3 of them...

• Isaiah in Isaiah 6:1-8 - A Plan for Intimacy
• Jacob in Genesis 28-33 - The Process of Intimacy
• Moses in Exodus 33:7-11 - The Price of Intimacy

Can you describe the development of each leader’s intimacy with God? How did it happen, what was the result? Where are you in this process?

This is how we might outline what happened in Isaiah's life:

• A Revelation of God
• A Realization of His Holiness
• A Recognition of My Sinfulness
• A Renewal of My Perspective
• A Response in My Life

I think this teaches us that intimacy begins with a recognition of who God is. We must spend time getting to know Him and realize that though He is utterly beyond and above us, He has made Himself known to us so that we can be changed. This change results first in a new understanding of Him, then of myself, then my perspective and finally in my attitudes and actions. Intimacy here is very practical and powerful to effect a change in me and in all my relationships.

Take some time each week to explore how different God is from you and how you should respond as a result of that new perspective.

Intimacy with God

Essential to an understanding of Christian Leadership is an understanding of intimacy with God. If we haven't developed an intimacy with Him, there is no way to see people or situations from His perspective, develop meaningful solutions with an eternal objective or develop a plan that is centered on His power and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Intimacy with Christ not only assures success (by His standards, not the world's standards), it also assures that we are leading and working for the right reasons (His glory and not ours)!

Intimacy is actually a popular subject these days but not many people really experience it or even understand what it is. As we communicate through SMS and Facebook, we practice a casual and very uncommitted type of communication - void of intimacy. So when we talk to God we tend to do the same thing, "How are you today, God? Can you help me out with... ? Please be with me. Take care of my family. Have a great day." This is not intimacy.

There are 3 things we need to begin an intimate relationship with Christ:

1. Know what intimacy is NOT (not being spiritual, not knowledge, not doing good). 
2. Understand that it will take a lot of work. 
3. Practice intimacy with Him every day.

There are incredible blessings of really knowing God in an intimate relationship but we will never be able to receive those blessings until we commit to the relationship. Similar to a husband and wife relationship, there is blessing and reward when you can trust and depend completely on the other. You know that they will never turn their back on you, will always work for your best interest, value you for who you are and not just what you do for them and always look forward to the time you spend together. There are very few friends that will do all of that!

Explore a bit more on your own to understand the reward, responsibility and the result of intimacy with God: read Eph. 3:18-19, Mat. 22:37 and John 15:16-17.

Measuring Leadership

We looked recently at how God is shaping you in these areas:
·     Your scope of social influence
·     Your ability to maximize the potential of others
·     Your ability to clearly define and move toward a goal
Each of these are difficult to measure but I would like to share some tools that may help in measuring these areas of your life.

Social Influence - This term is not in reference to social media (which might be one factor of your total influence). Here is an interesting article on how social media influence might be measured: https://smallbusiness.yahoo.com/. Another article with great advice on how Christians should engage in social media can be read here: http://www.faithgateway.com/.

The more accurate and meaningful questions are, "How engaged are you with others in every environment, how do people think and talk about you and why do they come to you for advice or direction?" Here are some additional questions that may help you measure your influence...

• What types of questions do you ask people and how do they respond to your questions and ideas? Are you asking questions that make them think about why or how they do things? These types of questions are much stronger then asking "who, what, when or where". Do they respond with a thoughtful answer? If they think before answering, it usually means that your opinion is valuable and that they are interested in what you say and how you think.
• Do people come to you with questions? Make notes to yourself about the types of questions people ask you. Do they ask about what you are doing later? It usually means that they want to spend time with you. Do they ask your opinion regarding a decision they must make? It usually means they respect your advice. Do they ask you to pass the lemonade? It can only mean they are thirsty and you are closer to the lemonade... ;)

Leadership Ability - This term can mean the combination of your ability to maximize others' potential and your ability to define and move toward a goal. Here is one great option of an online test to help you measure this: http://www.mindtools.com/... After taking the short test, you will be provided with a summary and suggestions for improvement in several key areas of leadership. You can also look at a test which helps you determine if you are growing in the areas that are important to God: Link to document. This measurement is essential for Christian leaders who realize that God constantly provides tests for us in everyday life which should lead us to a deeper commitment to Him and to His purposes.

Let me know if you have questions regarding these tools and how you might make use of them as you grow into the leader God wants you to be.

The Primary Colors

We know that all paintings are created by mixing very basic colors. In a similar way, leaders need to develop some basic personal qualities that will impact how they think, speak and make decisions. Each of the following 4 qualities are essential to being a person of integrity, vision, commitment and relationship.

Here are useful definitions for each quality:
Character enables the leader to do what is right... even when it is difficult.
Perspective enables the leader to see and understand what must happen to reach the goal.
Courage enables the leader to initiate and calculate the risk to step out towards a goal.
Favor enables the leader to attract and empower others to join in the cause.

Review the four primary qualities of effective, healthy leadership. Do you exhibit these qualities in your life and leadership? As a leader. which of the four qualities of healthy, effective leadership are you strongest in? In which are you weakest? How will you grow in your area of weakness?
Use one or more the following suggestions to work on an area that needs attention in your life. Then report back on which ones you used, if you were successful and how that developed the related quality in you.

Developing Character:

Discipline yourself to do 2 things you don’t like every week
Fix your eyes on a clear, specific purpose
Learn the ‘whys’ behind God’s commands
Interview a leader who had integrity
Monitor and adjust your motives for each action
Write out your promises and take responsibility for all your words, actions and attitudes

Developing Perspective:

Watch the news and ask: What could be done to solve this problem?
Be an optimist and feed yourself with great ideas from great people
Write out your dreams. What would you do if you were not afraid?
Interview a visionary leader. How do they think?
Post pictures and quotes in your room that represent your goals and dreams

Developing Courage:

Attempt something each week that would not be possible without God
Invite accountability for your commitments and decisions (God?)
Interview a courageous person: What gives them their courage?
Force yourself to be a decision maker and responsibility taker

Developing Favor:

Learn to “host” the relationships and conversations you engage in
Determine to be others-centered, focusing on other’s needs.
Find the good qualities in others and build those by finding a place to help them use those strengths
Make deposits in the lives of others with good books, contacts, quotes, encouragement

You can see the PowerPoint presentation on this topic here: https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/...

Who is the leader?

There have been many models of leadership promoted through history. In fact, many of these models have developed into political systems such as a monarchy (rule by a king), a dictatorship (rule by a dictator), socialism (rule by market management systems), a theocracy (rule under God) or a democracy (rule by the people).

There are really only 2 forms of government outlined in the Bible, both of which have some serious difficulties. Monarchy is a very common early form of government and pervasive through most of recorded history. If the king is truly concerned for the well-being of individuals under his rule and has adequate control of his realm, this works quite well in a fairly closed system. But as soon as a king loses focus on his responsibility to his subjects, or loses control of certain groups, or has evil (or lazy) counselors, everything is soon lost. The other form in early Hebrew culture was the theocracy. When God is the ruler, everything really does go well. The difficulty here is that God usually communicates through people, some of whom have their own ideas of how things should work and misrepresent God or completely neglect their relationship with Him. After 300 years of moral, social and political failure in the period of the Hebrew judges, the people decided they needed a king like everyone else.

So what are the characteristics of the leader that provide the most stable environment for those who follow? We will be looking at 4 essential qualities of effective leadership in our next class. In the meantime, you might be interested in this article from Thorston Grahn who works with the German Christian media organization "ERF Median" and has a degree in Organizational Leadership. http://christian-leadership.org/jesus-the-role-model-for-christian-leaders/

Reflecting on who God has made me

Reflecting on Session 1, The Portrait of a Leader...

We have looked together at the call of God on our lives to lead and how to define leadership. Now we can begin to think about leadership as a growth process, understanding where we are so that we can allow God to continue to shape us into the person and leader He wants us to be.

There is an incredible story of a young Pakistani girl who is also on this journey. Malala Yousafzai, the advocate for education and peace, won the Nobel Peace Prize last month, nearly two years after being shot, a target of the Pakistani Taliban. Malala was jointly awarded the prize with Indian activist Kailash Satyarthi “for their struggle against suppression of children and young people and for the right of all children to education.” - See more at: http://growingleaders.com/blog/

It's time to reflect on who God has made me; these are the areas I have had little or no control over (we can call this stage "Providential Beginnings")...

1. How is God’s providence evident in my personal history?
2. How has this made me different and special from those around me?
3. What might this point to in regard to my potential and purpose?

Then we can reflect on the next 2 stages: Character Formation, Service and Application... Remember that character can be defined as "who I am when no one is watching". God is working on us from the inside to develop the character outlined in the Fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). Service to Him and others can only really begin to be effective when we have allowed God to shape our character.

1. Where in my life have I focused on doing (serving/working) before being who God wants me to be?
2. What negative patterns have resulted from that?
3. How can I reverse those patterns and allow God to shape WHO I AM (my character)?
4. What is God’s view of maturity? What character qualities are still immature in my life?
5. Am I willing to go that far?
6. Which of these stages am I in?
7. What is hindering my growth right now?
8. What do I have to do to get to the next step?

These questions are quite personal but maybe there are some ideas that could be shared with others here. Think about some general concepts that you learned from our discussion but be sure to take time to really answer these questions for yourself. 

Defining leadership

What is a leader? There are many definitions of leadership from many perspectives. I have always thought of leadership as 'Influence', which is central to the definition but maybe not enough. Of course influence can be positive influence or negative influence. So we must remember that effectiveness as a leader depends both on the character of the leader and how they interact with others. For most leaders, their effectiveness as a leader must be developed over the course of many years - there are very few 'natural leaders'. Though we may not be good leaders today or have much influence, God is calling each of us to be leaders who represent God's standards and accomplish His purposes in our families, schools, churches, communities and even in business or political settings.

In order to become a leader, you must develop in three areas:

1. Character - who am I?
2. Skills - what do I do and how do I work with others?
3. Vision - how do I know what God wants from me and from those whom I lead?

This is a process that we will discuss over the next months.

Before our first class, please take time to read and think through these things:

1. Read this article on "What is Leadership?". What do you think about this definition? What do you agree with or not agree with? Then identify 2 great leaders and think about how they have influenced your life.

2. Think about how God is shaping you in these areas (we will discuss together):

• Your scope of social influence
• Your ability to maximize the potential of others
• Your ability to clearly define and move toward a goal

Speaking the Truth in Love

Conflict is probably one of the most difficult aspects of leadership, testing our ability to lead through relationships and the emotions that they involve. Our focus should always be on the development of the person, helping them grow while we affirm our love and concern for them even when we disagree completely. 

Below is a devotional on this topic - meditate on it and let God grow in you the passion to speak the truth in love...

Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe. — Proverbs 29:25

Nathan loved David, the king of Israel.

The proof of this love was in Nathan’s allegiance to the monarch and his sincere attempts to encourage the king, even to the point of affirming his ideas of a grand temple when God had not blessed the venture.

But the acid test of the prophet’s affection was not in supportive or affirming words, but in truthful confrontation—the kind of confrontation that could cost the prophet his friendship with the king, not to mention his life.

Nathan was clever and creative. His involvement in the selection of worship music in the sanctuary (2 Chronicles 29:25) tells us of his sensitivity. His personal involvement in the naming of the baby Solomon hints to us of Nathan’s tenderness (2 Samuel 12:25).

But Nathan had been given a terrifying assignment fit for the bravest warrior. And, if the nature of the commission wasn’t tough enough, it had come as a directive of the living God.

Friendships are often put to the test over long hours of work or waiting. Friends pay a price by listening or issuing words of love and encouragement. But friendship knows no bravery like the bravery of brutal, truthful confrontation.

Those who have named this clash of emotions “tough love” have named it well. It is tough, but it is also the deepest form of love.

Although it was not Nathan’s only challenge during David’s reign, the confrontation following the king’s adulterous affair with Bathsheba and murderous attempt to cover it up was his most grueling.

But instead of going nose to nose with David—a strategy that could have gotten Nathan in serious trouble—the prophet told a story. Drawing out the compassionate shepherd in the king, Nathan told him a story of a poor man’s family, their only possession a ewe. Much more than simply an animal on the man’s farm, this lamb was in every way a household pet. It “shared the man’s food, drank from his cup, and even slept in his arms.” The lamb was “like a daughter to the man.”

Nathan must have known, as he watched the king’s face, that David was captivated by the tale.

“In the same town was a rich man,” Nathan continued. “Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal. . . . Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it.”

David was blind with rage. “The man who did this deserves to die!”

Nathan must have taken a deep breath, knowing he had the king exactly where God wanted him to be. “You are the man,” Nathan said in measured tones. “You are the man.”

The great challenge in truth telling, even with a close friend, is to keep the focus on the deed and the guilty party, not on the confronter’s need to be right. In this, Nathan was brilliant. In Nathan’s message, David clearly heard God’s voice. Years later David would write: “Against You [the LORD], You only, have I sinned and done what is evil in Your sight” (Psalm 51:4).

Nathan dared to prove his love for his friend by telling him the truth in loving confrontation. And so skillful was the prophet at dealing with the king that when the third child was born to David and Bathsheba, they named him Nathan after the man who risked it all.

Lord, my sin is always before me. There’s no hiding from it, no denying it. I know that you desire truth in my inmost heart. Therefore, I ask you to show me the truth about myself in light of the truth about your love. Cleanse me, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

I Disagree!

It happens to all of us eventually: someone doesn't like what I did or said, someone has a difficult personality or someone just wants to go a different direction than I am. There are many causes of conflict and we are often surprised and hurt by these unexpected disruptions and the breaks in relationships that they produce.

Think about conflicts that you have faced already in your life? What was the real issue? Did you understand it at first or did it only come out later? Was there resolution and forgiveness? Who initiated the resolution?

We have all dealt with conflict because it is such a natural occurrence in daily interaction, in class, at work, in the family and even with best friends. But the real question is what do we do with it? It is not something we can avoid, so we need to know how to work through it, how to grow from it and how to strengthen our relationships through it. Remember that conflict itself is not negative or positive but how we deal with it can be destructive or constructive. Conflict is neutral.

So we need to develop the skills to work through conflict because we know it is going to happen. First, we need to get to the source of the problem. This is sometimes a difficult task because we don't understand all the variables of the situation or the people involved. Second, we need to focus on the value of the person. Remember that our relationship is always more important than proving that I'm right. Third, we need to balance grace and truth. There is always the right way, the gracious way to say things even when there are difficult things to say. One thing that I have found is that most people these days struggle with insecurity and identity issues. These issues always lead to conflict because of defensiveness -- no one wants to feel like others know more or know better because we each want to feel valued and in control of our own lives. So when I initiate the affirmation of the other person, letting them feel valued, I cut off their tendency toward self-defense. I must let them know immediately that they are important and that their contribution is also important. This goes a long way in establishing an environment where we can deal with other issues and reach an agreement. This is GOOD leadership, leadership that expects conflict to come and works to grow their team and each relationship through constructive conflict resolution.

Here is the link to the PPT on Conflict Resolution: https://docs.google.com/presentation/.../edit?usp=sharing

I look forward to hearing how God will use you to bless and serve others. Please feel free to comment on these posts or send me a personal message @journeyofjoy.

Teamwork is beautiful!

Though many of us think of leadership with a "do it yourself" or a "lone ranger" perspective, this approach is not biblical or even practical. The New Testament is very clear regarding the Body of Christ, each part/person serving in coordination and cooperation with the rest to minister to the needs of each other and to the world around us. Paul traveled with a team of coworkers, Silas, Timothy, Barnabas, Luke and others. Moses developed a team of leaders from each tribe and worked closely with Aaron and later Joshua. Jesus called 12 men to spend every day with Him in ministry for nearly 3 years. God has created us to work in relationship and this means teams working together to accomplish the vision, much more than we could ever hope to do on our own.

What is a good team? There are many ways to describe a good team but probably 3 things are needed most. DIVERSITY is essential because it brings many skills, interests and talents to the team. If someone else on my team has different skills than I do, their contribution doubles our effectiveness! Now we are each able to focus on the areas that we are good at and let the other person cover for our weaknesses. ORGANIZATION involves clear communication and coaching from those who understand both the people on the team and the steps that must be taken to achieve the goal. These people are commonly called team leaders or coaches because they encourage others to work together and to do their best but they also create community and relationships between the members of the team. The other element is evaluation, which lets people know what needs to be done in what order. The GOAL is the one clear purpose, the end result that everyone is working toward. Without a clear goal there is no clear vision for the team and this only creates confusion and dissension about what we are doing and why we are doing it. This goal is set by the leader but must have the support of the whole group for a real team to exist.

There are several beautiful pictures of teamwork in the Bible, but my favorite is the group who took their paralyzed friend to Jesus. They broke through the roof of the house where Jesus was speaking to a crowd of people and lowered the bed of their friend right into the middle of the room. Can you imagine the determination of these men and their communication through this process? "Well, how do we get in?" "I have an idea!" Really, what is it?" "Listen, first we..." Nothing could stand in their way because they knew what had to be done and worked together to make it happen - getting their friend to Jesus. This should be our attitude as well - nothing is going to stand in the way of getting our friend to Jesus! But it will always take a team of people working together to accomplish big things!

How well do you work with others? Are you able to clearly communicate the goal? Are you supportive of others with very different ideas and skills than yours? Are you able to build strong relationships through the process of learning to work together? If not, then begin to practice these skills and take time to observe carefully how others work in teams.

Communication

As God grows the vision for ministry in us, it is our job to communicate that vision to those who will join us in completing this vision...

Technology has made communication easier and more frequent than ever before, picking up your cell phone, sending an e-mail, an SMS and instant messaging - but we are not really communicating better than before. How can we really engage people and call them to action when there is so much empty communication distracting them from what is important?

Stories may be one key to this problem. If you know what types of stories connect best with your audience, you can use stories to immediately connect yourself to their world, interest them in what you have to say and motivate them to take action. Of course you need to prepare well for this by listening to and reading lots of stories; you can find stories everywhere, in books, in movies, on the news, in everyday events and in conversations. Find several stories that will lead well to the message you have to share. Practice telling stories in many different settings, in writing, with family, with friends. Then you need to learn about the person or people who will be hearing your story. If you know them well, this is easy, but if not you may need to ask some questions first: What do you enjoy doing in your free time? What do you consider to be the ultimate goal in life? If you had a week to go and do anything, what would it be? These types of questions will give you clues about what is most valuable to them. Then you can pick the story that connects best to their values. If you don't have the opportunity, the best stories are usually stories about you and your personal experiences because these are the stories we can tell with the most passion and 'real-ness'.

Developing our communication skills is a constant task and needs to be addressed in every area, what we write, how we listen, how we speak, and even in how we stand or sit or dress or move our eyes and hands. All of this communicates value to the person I am talking with, confidence in my message and confidence in myself as the messenger. But the most important piece is connecting to our audience: What exactly will they see and hear? Will they hear a clear and unified message? Will they be able to connect their values and goals with this message? Will they be motivated to take action as a result?

Follow-up: What stories have you heard that powerfully communicate a vision for ministry? What stories most describe you, your life and your passions? Which of these stories can be used this week as you talk to people? How can you improve your ability to tell stories this week?

Here are a few links for you: 

• http://growingleaders.com/blog/how-to-communicate-your-vision/
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXaqJe520gg&feature=youtu.be (personal evangelism)
• https://www.ted.com/playlists/62/how_to_tell_a_story (look at "The danger of a single story")
• http://www.mislinks.org/communicating/storying/

Extra: I am not satisfied with my class session on the topic of communication, so I will not be posting the recording from session 6... but here is the link to the presentation: Communication.ppt

Communication and Leadership

We have been working toward an understanding of what a vision is and how that is developed in us for leadership. We also looked at the concept of priorities and realizing that we must focus on the things that are most important for us to do as the leader or the vision will never be realized. Now we need to look at aspects of team development: communicating the vision, working with people and managing conflict.

When we improve our ability to communicate, we increase our ability to lead.

So how do we communicate this vision to others? As leaders we are responsible to unite a team of people to carry out the vision. Thankfully, God brings the right people into our lives at the right time to make this happen, which tests our trust in Him as well as our determination to obey no matter what. Our connection to this team will depend on our ability to communicate: learning to listen, learning to value their input, learning to shape our vision into words and word pictures, and learning to persuade and motivate. The leader really acts as a model, organizer, cheerleader and coach to understand how each member of the team works, use their skills and knowledge effectively and challenge them to do more than they thought they could do!

Remember that communication happens at many levels, one-to-one, small groups, large audiences, in writing, in speaking, with words, with attitudes, with tone of voice, with body language... each one is essential for the complete message and effective leadership! If you do not feel ready to speak in front of a group, don't worry. This takes time and practice; but you can still work on your communication skills in many other ways!

We will look at this more in our next session and then you can begin an assignment:
Prepare a 5 minute presentation which presents a vision for ministry in a way that will challenge and motivate your audience or small group to join you. This presentation should engage the mind as well and the emotions of your audience so they can see what you see and feel what you feel regarding the task ahead.

Priorities of a Leader

We have been thinking about vision - seeing into the future and what God might be calling us to do. This develops out of the passions that God puts in our heart, the circumstances in which we live and the people God brings into our life. Of course this vision must be communicated to a team of people who will join us in fulfilling the vision. But often one of the most difficult tasks for the leader is choosing which tasks to focus on and how to organize their time, resources and energy so that they can be effective leaders. This is a process we call 'setting priorities'.

So how do great leaders set priorities?

The “Pareto Principle” teaches us that if we focus our attention on our most important activities we gain the highest return on our effort. In fact, Mr. Pareto found that if we tend to the top 20% most important priorities, we will accomplish 80% of the results we are after. Some call this the 80/20 Rule. This principle can be applied to your everyday priorities to enable you to lead more effectively. If you were to list your top 10 priorities, you would likely find that getting done your first and second priorities will give you 80% of your desired results. This occurs because many of the lower priorities are minor tasks that need to be completed (sometimes urgently), but are not extremely important. These are not the priorities that you should focus on. To be a more efficient and effective leader,  you must embrace the right priorities, the crucial things that only you can do.

Which tasks do you focus on first? The ones that are easiest, the most urgent, the ones that will take longest, the ones that need the least amount of your energy, or the ones that are most important? Whenever we allow ourselves to be guided by the urgent, we give up our priorities as leaders. Good leaders know that if the most important things don't get most of our attention, very little of real importance will be accomplished.

Here are a few simple application questions and ideas... 

1. What was Jesus' top priority? How can this be shown in how He talked or how He used His time?
2. How many things do you put on your calendar each week that are independent of others and their demands on your time? 
3. What are the 2 most important items on your calendar this week that will bring you closer to understanding and fulfilling your God-given vision?
4. If you have 6 things to do today, think about which item is the most important and how much time that should take of all the time you have available - then do it first!

Here is the ppt for this session. 

Your own purpose statement

What are you really good at? What things give you a deep sense of satisfaction? What skills have developed into personal strengths over the last couple years? These are gifts that God has given you and they are His way of blessing you so that you can invest in others. This is one way of approaching the question, "What is my purpose in life?"

We might be tempted to ask, "How can God use me?" or "Am I really important?" But we need to realize that each person does have a unique purpose, it just takes work to realize what that is and how to act on it. Another way of approaching these questions is to spend time developing a personal purpose statement and letting that statement guide your objectives and goals in everyday life.

In our last on-line class I shared with you the purpose statement that Ellie and I have developed. (You can listen in on that presentation using the link in the last post.) But I will give you a practical way of developing your own statement:

1. Name 2 people who have impacted you the most. What 2 qualities made them special? 
2. If you accomplished only 2 things in your life, what would they be? 
3. There are only 2 rules in life that everyone must follow. They are… 
4. Everyone has unalienable rights which are, “life, liberty, and the pursuit of _______”. 

After completing these statements, it should heavily impact how you answer the next set of questions:

1. Which of these statements identifies the things you would be willing to be uncomfortable for? 
2. Which of these statements identifies the things you would get in a fight about? 
3. Which of these identifies the things you would be willing to be ridiculed for? 
4. Which would you be willing to die for? 

You have now arrived at a clear understanding of what is of most value to you! If you are even willing to die for something, this is of the highest value and cannot be separated from who you are as a person. Now we can work these values into a personal purpose statement...

1. I will live as an example of ...
2. I will refuse to let my comfort distract me from ...
3. I will take every opportunity to ...

Now, rewrite your purpose statement using these actions. Then evaluate how you spend your time and determine to let your purpose statement guide your daily activities and decisions

1. What are your daily activities? List them by the amount of time each one takes.
2. Your top 2 priorities (goals that come from your purpose statement) should be the focus of 80% of your available time. (Remember the 80/20 priciple that we discussed!)
3. Write those on your hand, on the mirror or somewhere very visible to review every day. 
4. Evaluate how much time you put into those this next week. 

There is a website which might be of further use to you. It is not a Christian website, but the concepts are quite helpful and may be able to guide you in the process of developing a personal purpose statement:  www.franklincovey.com/missionbuilder/

One more thought: In Genesis 37, when Joseph was seventeen, he had a dream prophesying that he would someday rule over his brothers. This peek into his destiny filled him with self-confidence; he was a young man who was destined to impact his world and be used by God. But the fact is, he wasn’t ready to rule over his brothers or anyone else right then. He needed to go through some character-shaping times. And indeed, he did just that, spending thirteen years facing setbacks, challenges, and even prison. So remember that the vision God gives you is not something that will happen immediately. God continues to shape us and prepare us for the special work He wants to accomplish in His time.